I’m very much looking forward to the day we make contact with aliens. Once we get all of the boring stuff out of the way like ‘where have you come from’ and ‘what is the meaning of life’, we can finally ask the important question: What do you make of The Conservative Party?
From an extra-terrestrial perspective, with no political preconceptions, I suspect this modern iteration of the Tory party would seem to be driven by stubborn idealogues. The guiding ideology of the party is clear – cut public services, leave the European Union. Easy.
Yet such a summation of the party would leave traditional conservatives turning in their expensive graves. For the Burkes and Oakeshotts of this world, conservatism ought to be understood as pragmatism. No political project or personal conviction should supersede the authority of quiet and practical governance.
David Cameron, despite coming under the ‘Neoliberal’ heading of the conservative Venn diagram, understood this well. Look no further than the legalisation of gay marriage in 2013. To much of the established party, gay marriage constitutes a violation of the Church of England and family values. But Cameron understood that times were changing, and the party needed to be flexible to avoid becoming the dinosaur of Westminster. Pragmatic politics won the day.
So how has the party lost its way so dramatically over the last five years?
If you want to find a political bandwagon worth jumping on, I would suggest ‘feeding hungry children’. To openly come out against feeding hungry children is like voting for the mass extermination of puppies. Morality aside, its politically myopic. Sorry, moronic.
Any party of pragmatism would look at Marcus Rashford’s campaign and see an easy political win. Extending Free School Meals isn’t too expensive for a national government – let’s not forget that Chris Grayling handed over £13.8m to a ferry company that didn’t have any ferries – and is guaranteed to be almost universally popular. It’s also worth noting (from a cynical perspective) that Rashford’s campaign is an excellent bit of PR for a party so often accused of racism – supporting the work of a young popular black man is as close as you can get to a PR ‘no-brainer’.
I have no doubt that Cameron would have slithered in and declared that extending Free School Meals was his idea all along.
Yet Johnson’s Tories seem hellbent on identifying as heartless Dickensian idealogues. Cutting costs is prioritised over feeding children. Preventing the statistically irrelevant chance of benefit fraud (a modern Tory obsession) is considered more important than preventing a political crisis.
For those who appreciate the value of symbolism, look no further than the whip being removed from Ken Clarke and Nicholas Soames last year for adopting caution in the face of fervent Brexiteering radicalism. Perhaps the modern Tory Grandees are Tim Martin and Ian ‘Beefy’ Botham.
It seems that the party has concluded that its idiosyncratic obsessions and modern ideological foundations are more important than pragmatism. This is surely the death of British conservatism.
Big pigeon energy 